Success Story:When “He” and “She” Became “We”

This piece was written so beautifully by a Micro Matchmakers success story: Joseph & Cynthia! It details both of their insights and experiences in our community so wonderfully and I hope you’ll enjoy it as an example of the power of being open to magic and meeting people who might not appear to be “your type.” Enjoy!

—

Where We Started

Cynthia: I was a lifelong single professional, early 50's, happy and content being a dog mom. All of that changed when I lost both of my parents in quick succession. I decided that growing old was grisly business and not something I wanted to do alone. I wanted to find a rest-of-my-life partner, a salt-of-the-earth man who I enjoyed spending time with, who made me laugh, and who was crazy about me. I hadn't been in the dating game for years, had no interest in online dating, and hadn't been around a high concentration of single people since college. Answer? Micropolitan Matchmakers.

Joseph: I had a divorce in.my rear view mirror, two grown kids, and had a couple of dating relationships that didn't work out. I was in my early 50's, didn't really see myself getting married again, I wasn't looking for the love-of-my-life, just a nice woman I could spend time with, someone with whom I had some shared interests, someone I could bring to couple-oriented social events. Answer? Micropolitan Matchmakers.

The Micropolitan Matchmaking Experience 

Cynthia: I am very outgoing and social, I love meeting new people, seeing new venues, and having new experiences. I became all about the periodic get togethers MM set up. All were at restaurants, bars, event venues I had never been to. It gave me a chance to get dressed up, go someplace new, meet new people, have a new experience. I really enjoyed everyone. There are so many interesting people in the Capital District! While I wasn't meeting that guy who was "the one", I genuinely enjoyed the company of the men and women I did meet, even forming friendships with people who I would get together with outside of the MM sponsored events. I was aware of the option to sign on as a MM client and planned to do that in the future, but for sure attending all of the in-person events that MM organized was so enjoyable for me. My goal was always to meet new people and have a nice time, and I always succeeded.

Joseph: I had been divorced, engaged and then “disengaged” and had been taking some time off from relationships. My work schedule and the on-call nature of my job made getting to in-person events difficult, and I worked in a male-dominated field, so I was not likely to meet someone in a professional setting. I was really attracted to the idea of being able to sign up as a client and have Becky and Gabby search for potential dates for me. I liked the idea of background checks for all participants. I put a lot of thought into my responses during my interview to help give them the best picture of who I was and what I was looking for in another person. I didn't hesitate to offer information on why past relationships did not work out so moving forward the same mistakes were not repeated.

The Ramp Up to The Match

Cynthia: So I started attending events in January of 2023. On August 20, 2023, MM had a day at the Saratoga Race course. I was really looking forward to that event and the day before I had friends visiting from out of town. We happened to be shopping at a boutique and I came across a pair of leggings with fire hydrants printed on them and I thought they would be cute to wear to the frequent dog themed events I go to with my rescue dogs. While I was purchasing them at the register, my friend said, "who knows, maybe you'll meet a cute fireman." I smiled and said "Unlikely, but a fun idea".

Joseph: I signed up as a client with MM in January 2023 and was set up on two dates which were great but did not warrant future ones.  Both Becky and Gabby provided advice throughout the process which was important for someone like me since I had not asked someone out in over 20 years!  I was both excited and nervous about going to MM events but the good thing was all of the participants were single and looking for potential relationships just as I was so there was no guessing or “looking for rings”.  

The Match

Cynthia: It was a beautiful day; I was psyched to get dressed up and go up to Saratoga. It was easy to find the tented area MM had set up. While I was waiting to say hi to Gabby, she was talking to a guy who looked to be about my age. She introduced me to him, his name was Joseph, and we had a brief conversation and he mentioned that he was local for now but was planning a move to Delaware. I honestly didn't think much of the transaction, saw my friend Paul from past MM events, and Sat down with him at a table. A little while later, Joseph came and sat with us and we had a great round of small talk. And then it happened.  Joseph mentioned that he worked at the track but was off that day. I said, "You work here, what do you do?" He said, "I'm the Fire Marshal". I absolutely did a double take, thinking of my conversation with my friend not even 12 hours before about maybe "meeting a cute fireman " and said to myself, the universe is telling you to really pay attention to this person! I listened to Joseph intently when I wasn't talking his ear off, I ended up following him around at some point, and next thing I knew, we were the last two people at the MM tent.

Joseph: I had immersed myself in my work since my son was at boot camp, my daughter on her own. I found myself working at the Saratoga race track as a fire marshal. Meanwhile, I had signed up as a client with MM for several reasons including not wanting to participate in “modern” dating i.e. online dating. I wanted a personal touch, I really needed assistance, as I was meeting no one. I decided on two MM events to buy tickets to in addition to the dating opportunities that I was set up on. The first event was cancelled due to inclimate weather but the second was at Saratoga. I took the day off from working at the track to go the MM event so ironically enough still found myself at my place of employment. I didn’t know what to wear since I had seen many of the gentleman at the track wearing flamboyant suits but I wanted to be myself and so just wore a pocket tee and jeans. Approaching the MM tent was a bit nerve wracking since at age 51 I never thought I would need dating help combined with the fact that I never really liked dating even “back in the day”.  I was greeted by Gabby and Becky and then started to talk to several people at the event. However, I kept coming back to Cynthia. I was drawn to her on multiple levels including the fact that I found her to be very attractive (she looked great that day), she was more than willing to have a conversation, but mostly she had this overwhelming positive energy emanating from her.  We decided to get lunch together and even make some bets which I am normally not allowed to do while working.  Our conversation lasted well into the afternoon and we actually closed down the event as the last participants – even after Gabby and Becky had left!  On the way out I asked for her phone number and called her two days later.

Having the Time of Our Lives 

Cynthia: A phone call a couple of days after the event turned into a dinner date at Delmonico's that week. It was a great date, lots of laughter, great stories, all under a chandelier and over delicious food. As dessert was coming, and there was talk about getting together again soon, I did have something I needed to get off my chest. I told Joseph, "Look, we are not kids and I don't want to waste your time. I need to tell you that I am very close with my family here in New York and I could never move away from them. I am looking for a life partner, not someone to just date for a few months. If your future is in Delaware, then seeing each other again may be pointless." Joseph took my hand and looked me square in the eye and said "If this works and we end up as a couple, my place will be with you. I go where you go." That was what I needed to hear and here we are, more than a year and a half later, in love and having a blast together. We've spent holidays together, have gone on vacations together, are getting to know each other's family and friends, and are talking about our vision for a future together.

Joseph: When we talked a few days after the Saratoga event we set up a date at Delmonico’s. It was a fun date at a great venue. The conversation was for the most part light but we did discuss our potential future together (even at this early stage) but I think we both knew the attraction to each other was very real. That said as with all new relationship ventures there would be some doubt. In fact, a few days later Cynthia texted me at work and wanted to meet me at a diner in Latham on my way home from the track. I was not sure of her intent but quite honestly knew this would be a defining moment either way. I recall taking both of her hands in mine and looking directly into her eyes while she talked.  We both had some concerns but I believe reassured each other that a relationship could and would work.  We walked to her car to say good night. I knew I wanted to kiss her and could see in her eyes that feeling was reciprocated. That was our first kiss. 

Why It Has Worked

 Cynthia: Joseph and I could not be more different. We NEVER would have matched online or even on a blind date, because no one in their right mind would have ever put us together. We have different interests, different ways of communicating, different opinions on so many things ... BUT ... On all of the big things, the really important things, the things that truly matter about a person and in a relationship, we are completely aligned. We both love trying new things, we are quick to laugh, we value family, loyalty, dependability, honesty, and we both place a high value on a romantic partner, we want to have a special person to love and to care for. Joseph has the qualities that I need and want in another person. We recognize that we are different people, we have had different life experiences, and that can lead to different ways of seeing the world. But at the end of the day, we respect each other and the other's opinion.

Joseph: I would concur with Cynthia on this point.  We have vastly different interests and even at times contrasting interests and philosophies. One of the more compelling statements from Cynthia was that “she didn’t want to date herself” meaning someone with the same exact profile. Realistically, interest in common activities only takes you so far and is good to get a relationship started but the proof is in the pudding and what makes a long-lasting relationship are the qualities Cynthia stated in her piece and we do match in this regard. Our future together is literally limitless; we are the authors and right now, and for the foreseeable future, we are writing a legendary and magical tale.

To be continued...